I don't know much about Jerry Brown, who looks like he's going to replace Arnold as the governor of California, but this is pretty damn awesome:
Indeed, over four decades of engagement in public life, Jerry Brown has developed a remarkable knack for displaying a sense of his own—and government’s—limits. He began his gubernatorial first term in 1975 with an off-the-cuff “address” that ran seven minutes; replaced the traditional inaugural ball with an informal dinner at a Chinese restaurant; traded in his gubernatorial limo for a 1974 Plymouth from the state car pool; rented a small apartment instead of living in the governor’s mansion; and reportedly slept on a mattress on the floor. (As governor, Brown was far more fiscally conservative than his predecessor, Ronald Reagan, who raised taxes and spending several times. His austerity, which created vast budget surpluses, prompted one Reagan aide to joke that the Gipper “thinks Jerry Brown has gone too far to the right.”) Appropriately, one of Brown's publicly identified gurus was Small Is Beautiful author E.F. Schumacher, and he once described his governing style, using a strikingly Zen phrase, as “creative inaction.” That could be very handy if he gets the job he is running for, where limits have been placed on virtually everything a governor can do, and it also provides a strong contrast to Whitman, whose campaign screams hubris.
I wish I could vote for him.
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Finally, a Vice President who talks like me
If only Barack would drop a "Now listen here brah (or biotch depending on his mood)..." to Mitch McConnell, all our problems would be solved.
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Healthcare Reform
Since I am not in any way qualified to comment intelligently on the merits of the bill or its political implications except to repeat the wise words of the Paul Krugmans and Ezra Kleins of the world I will instead do what I do best--draw a pop-culture analogy from an entertainment-saturated childhood. My point is simple, cliched even if you want to mean about it, but still I think it is worth telling.
You really couldn't make this stuff up.
Think about it, the best piece of mass entertainment ever to take on the political arena on a national level was the West Wing, a show about as well written and beautifully acted as humanly possible. And yet, could you imagine the West Wing spending an entire season on the formulation and passing of a bill on one friggin issue? Where luminaries like Arlen Specter (the traitor/hero depending on who you talk to), Joe Lieberman (the narcissist), Max Baucus (affable guy probably out of his league), Bart Stupak (the guy who no one ever heard of who inexplicably holds the fate of history-making legislation in his hands) and Scott Brown (the heartthrob) trade the spotlight one after the other in a marathon so ridiculous the media, let alone the public, can barely summon the strength continue paying attention to it. And this is not even to mention the major players like Obama, Reid and Pelosi, let alone the conservative chorus who have whipped up such a frenzy of demonization that a ridiculously large percentage of conservatives seriously believe that Congress is about to pass a bill that would result in large scale, government-sanctioned killing of old people--in a representative democracy no less!
Even if you did somehow fit the entire health-care fight into some sort of fictionalized mass media production you would only begin to get a glimpse of the Obama presidency so far (Afghanistan/Iraq, economic meltdown, torture legacy anyone?), a point which only begins to evoke just how profound the challenges confronted by the President so far in his term have been.
I for one am really proud of the President and, for the first time in a long while...let's be serious--probably ever--the Democrats in Congress as well for actually doing what they were sent to Washington for in the first place. Millions of people's lives will be a little easier once this bill goes into effect. For thousands more it'll probably be the difference between losing their house and saving someone in their family.
What a treat it is to witness our Union "perfect" itself in such a profound way. It appears that my journey from Obama-supporting idealist to the brink of complete and total cynicism is now halted. May it continue.
You really couldn't make this stuff up.
Think about it, the best piece of mass entertainment ever to take on the political arena on a national level was the West Wing, a show about as well written and beautifully acted as humanly possible. And yet, could you imagine the West Wing spending an entire season on the formulation and passing of a bill on one friggin issue? Where luminaries like Arlen Specter (the traitor/hero depending on who you talk to), Joe Lieberman (the narcissist), Max Baucus (affable guy probably out of his league), Bart Stupak (the guy who no one ever heard of who inexplicably holds the fate of history-making legislation in his hands) and Scott Brown (the heartthrob) trade the spotlight one after the other in a marathon so ridiculous the media, let alone the public, can barely summon the strength continue paying attention to it. And this is not even to mention the major players like Obama, Reid and Pelosi, let alone the conservative chorus who have whipped up such a frenzy of demonization that a ridiculously large percentage of conservatives seriously believe that Congress is about to pass a bill that would result in large scale, government-sanctioned killing of old people--in a representative democracy no less!
Even if you did somehow fit the entire health-care fight into some sort of fictionalized mass media production you would only begin to get a glimpse of the Obama presidency so far (Afghanistan/Iraq, economic meltdown, torture legacy anyone?), a point which only begins to evoke just how profound the challenges confronted by the President so far in his term have been.
I for one am really proud of the President and, for the first time in a long while...let's be serious--probably ever--the Democrats in Congress as well for actually doing what they were sent to Washington for in the first place. Millions of people's lives will be a little easier once this bill goes into effect. For thousands more it'll probably be the difference between losing their house and saving someone in their family.
What a treat it is to witness our Union "perfect" itself in such a profound way. It appears that my journey from Obama-supporting idealist to the brink of complete and total cynicism is now halted. May it continue.
Friday, March 19, 2010
Maybe the U.S. has a chance in the World Cup after all
Clint Dempsey is an integral member of the U.S. soccer team for the upcoming World Cup in South Africa. He also happens to play for Fulham in the English Premier League, where he recently scored one of the more ridiculous "touch" goals I've ever seen...
100318_FUL
Uploaded by 1513BB92024. - Discover more college videos.
100318_FUL
Uploaded by 1513BB92024. - Discover more college videos.
March Madness gone truly mad
As someone who normally considers this period of March the 2nd best time of year (with Jesus' birthday occupying the top spot) it gives me great pain to say this but alas, it is becoming painfully clear--March Madness is a shell of its former self. And no, I'm not just saying this because of UConn's bi-polar performance this year, which now leaves them--a team that went to the Final Four last year and has 3 wins against the Top 10 this year--relegated to the dreaded N.I.T. Although that certainly hasn't helped my mood.
I'm saying this because, combined with the three point line, the flight of great to even crappy college players with huge "upside" to the NBA has narrowed the gap between great and pretty good teams to just about...nothing. Thus eliminating whatever semblance of "strategy" there was to picking a bracket, enabling the Jessica Simpson's of the world to reign supreme and kill the soul of true sports fans everywhere. To be fair, this has been a long time coming. The fact is basketball is a unique sport in that 18 year olds (or even younger probably in some cases) can make the transition from high school to pro pretty seamlessly as we have seen with the likes of Kobe, Lebron, Garnett and many others. Whether or not it is good for their "development as human beings" is a whole other issue, but also completely ridiculous since I would challenge anyone to seriously ask themselves what they would do if at the ripe age of 18 you were given a choice between:
A. Going to college, pretending to go to class, and hoping you didn't get hurt/your draft stock doesn't slip
OR
B. Taking the money and setting up you and your family for life
It's also funny that high school basketball players get this moral scolding--mainly from overweight, middle aged white male sportswriters who undoubtedly never even got close to much less above the rim--while similarly talented baseball, tennis, hockey, and soccer players of the same age get a free ride. Could it be the demographics of the average male college basketball player playing a part? Obviously not.
The truth is college basketball as we know it, or used to know it more accurately, is dying. Hell it might already even be dead; I'm not a doctor. Regardless, never again will we see 3 future Hall of Famers squaring off against each other as we did when Michael Jordan and James Worthy at Carolina matched up against Patrick Ewing and Georgetown in the 1982 national championship game. Instead what we are for more likely to see since the NBA implemented it's "one and done rule"--where kids have to wait at least a year after they graduate high school to enter the draft--are people like Brandon Jennings, a top-flight high school player who skipped college altogether and instead opted to play for a year in Italy, where he received $1.65 million before entering the draft this year's past and getting selected by the Milwaukee Bucks, where he is now enjoying a pretty stellar rookie season.
Contrast that with Derrick Rose, another highly touted high school player, who played one terrific year for famed scumbag John Calipari at Memphis and was able to lead them to the national championship game. The only problem? Derrick, it seems, may not know how to read or write very well, as evidenced by the fact that someone else had to take the SAT exam for him since he apparently couldn't get a qualifying score. Not that this has affected him at all mind you, he was selected No. 1 overall by the Chicago Bulls and is now well on his way to a future filled with tens of millions of dollars. His coach, meanwhile, in spite of now having BOTH of his career trips to the Final Four be "vacated" (NCAA-speak for saying "You CHEATED! Your wins don't count anymore.") at not one but two schools (UMass and Memphis), has since moved on to maybe the plushest college basketball job in the country at the Univ. of Kentucky, where he will earn $31.65 million over 8 years.
So really then, what is the difference between the two? To me it's pretty simple--one got paid for his year of waiting, the other was nice enough to donate his earnings to John Calipari, Memphis University, and the NCAA. This helps underlie an important but seldom mentioned point : the system as it exists now is completely corrupt, designed not in the least to promote the ideal of true "student athletes" but instead to line the pockets of the coaches, satisfy the whims of wealthy boosters, and in the enrich the schools themselves. By how much? The last contract the NCAA signed with CBS for the broadcast rights to the tournament was for 11 years and $6 billion.
Which can only lead me to one very difficult conclusion: the bracket is dead. With players of the caliber of Rose and Jennings playing one year if at all the college level, there will be no rhyme or reason to the goings on of the NCAA tournament every year.
Is there a bright side? Of course, as long as you hate dunking and love fundamentals. The UConn women's team is more dominant than ever having not lost in 72 games and with their LOWEST margin of victory this season at 12 points. I look forward to Pat Summit's tears when Geno and the girls thrash the Lady Vols.
I'm saying this because, combined with the three point line, the flight of great to even crappy college players with huge "upside" to the NBA has narrowed the gap between great and pretty good teams to just about...nothing. Thus eliminating whatever semblance of "strategy" there was to picking a bracket, enabling the Jessica Simpson's of the world to reign supreme and kill the soul of true sports fans everywhere. To be fair, this has been a long time coming. The fact is basketball is a unique sport in that 18 year olds (or even younger probably in some cases) can make the transition from high school to pro pretty seamlessly as we have seen with the likes of Kobe, Lebron, Garnett and many others. Whether or not it is good for their "development as human beings" is a whole other issue, but also completely ridiculous since I would challenge anyone to seriously ask themselves what they would do if at the ripe age of 18 you were given a choice between:
A. Going to college, pretending to go to class, and hoping you didn't get hurt/your draft stock doesn't slip
OR
B. Taking the money and setting up you and your family for life
It's also funny that high school basketball players get this moral scolding--mainly from overweight, middle aged white male sportswriters who undoubtedly never even got close to much less above the rim--while similarly talented baseball, tennis, hockey, and soccer players of the same age get a free ride. Could it be the demographics of the average male college basketball player playing a part? Obviously not.
The truth is college basketball as we know it, or used to know it more accurately, is dying. Hell it might already even be dead; I'm not a doctor. Regardless, never again will we see 3 future Hall of Famers squaring off against each other as we did when Michael Jordan and James Worthy at Carolina matched up against Patrick Ewing and Georgetown in the 1982 national championship game. Instead what we are for more likely to see since the NBA implemented it's "one and done rule"--where kids have to wait at least a year after they graduate high school to enter the draft--are people like Brandon Jennings, a top-flight high school player who skipped college altogether and instead opted to play for a year in Italy, where he received $1.65 million before entering the draft this year's past and getting selected by the Milwaukee Bucks, where he is now enjoying a pretty stellar rookie season.
Contrast that with Derrick Rose, another highly touted high school player, who played one terrific year for famed scumbag John Calipari at Memphis and was able to lead them to the national championship game. The only problem? Derrick, it seems, may not know how to read or write very well, as evidenced by the fact that someone else had to take the SAT exam for him since he apparently couldn't get a qualifying score. Not that this has affected him at all mind you, he was selected No. 1 overall by the Chicago Bulls and is now well on his way to a future filled with tens of millions of dollars. His coach, meanwhile, in spite of now having BOTH of his career trips to the Final Four be "vacated" (NCAA-speak for saying "You CHEATED! Your wins don't count anymore.") at not one but two schools (UMass and Memphis), has since moved on to maybe the plushest college basketball job in the country at the Univ. of Kentucky, where he will earn $31.65 million over 8 years.
So really then, what is the difference between the two? To me it's pretty simple--one got paid for his year of waiting, the other was nice enough to donate his earnings to John Calipari, Memphis University, and the NCAA. This helps underlie an important but seldom mentioned point : the system as it exists now is completely corrupt, designed not in the least to promote the ideal of true "student athletes" but instead to line the pockets of the coaches, satisfy the whims of wealthy boosters, and in the enrich the schools themselves. By how much? The last contract the NCAA signed with CBS for the broadcast rights to the tournament was for 11 years and $6 billion.
Which can only lead me to one very difficult conclusion: the bracket is dead. With players of the caliber of Rose and Jennings playing one year if at all the college level, there will be no rhyme or reason to the goings on of the NCAA tournament every year.
Is there a bright side? Of course, as long as you hate dunking and love fundamentals. The UConn women's team is more dominant than ever having not lost in 72 games and with their LOWEST margin of victory this season at 12 points. I look forward to Pat Summit's tears when Geno and the girls thrash the Lady Vols.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
How old is Supreme Court Justice/Liberal Icon John Paul Stevens?
So old he saw BABE RUTH call his own shot against the Chicago Cubs in the 1932 World Series:
“My dad took me to see the World Series, and we were sitting behind third base, not too far back,” Stevens, who was twelve years old at the time, told me. He recalled that the Cubs players had been hassling Ruth from the dugout earlier in the game. “Ruth did point to the center-field scoreboard,” Stevens said. “And he did hit the ball out of the park after he pointed with his bat. So it really happened.”
Amazing. I for one am just really happy he survived the Bush Administration...although I am also appalled upon reflection that so integral a part of our government relies on partisans on both sides using actuarial tables to guess the lifespans of each justice. 20 year term limits seem a reasonable compromise.
This whole article by Jeffrey Toobin in the New Yorker is pretty amazing; the best part for me was this quote from Stevens' minority dissent in the Bush v. Gore decision:
Although we may never know with complete certainty the identity of the winner of this year’s Presidential election, the identity of the loser is perfectly clear. It is the Nation’s confidence in the judge as an impartial guardian of the rule of law.
I remember the Florida episode rather vaguely to be honest. Being 16 years old and getting most of my election coverage from the Will Ferrell/Darrell Hammond impressions of the candidates on SNL, I was under the impression that, for the most part, politics didn't matter all that much--which serves as yet another example of how stupid I was at 16.
Oh well, at least I wasn't one of the 90,000 Floridians that voted for Ralph Nader. They can choke on their granola for all I care. Not die, just choke.
“My dad took me to see the World Series, and we were sitting behind third base, not too far back,” Stevens, who was twelve years old at the time, told me. He recalled that the Cubs players had been hassling Ruth from the dugout earlier in the game. “Ruth did point to the center-field scoreboard,” Stevens said. “And he did hit the ball out of the park after he pointed with his bat. So it really happened.”
Amazing. I for one am just really happy he survived the Bush Administration...although I am also appalled upon reflection that so integral a part of our government relies on partisans on both sides using actuarial tables to guess the lifespans of each justice. 20 year term limits seem a reasonable compromise.
This whole article by Jeffrey Toobin in the New Yorker is pretty amazing; the best part for me was this quote from Stevens' minority dissent in the Bush v. Gore decision:
Although we may never know with complete certainty the identity of the winner of this year’s Presidential election, the identity of the loser is perfectly clear. It is the Nation’s confidence in the judge as an impartial guardian of the rule of law.
I remember the Florida episode rather vaguely to be honest. Being 16 years old and getting most of my election coverage from the Will Ferrell/Darrell Hammond impressions of the candidates on SNL, I was under the impression that, for the most part, politics didn't matter all that much--which serves as yet another example of how stupid I was at 16.
Oh well, at least I wasn't one of the 90,000 Floridians that voted for Ralph Nader. They can choke on their granola for all I care. Not die, just choke.
Monday, March 15, 2010
The Rocketeer--for realz though
I never thought an apparatus which would allow a single human being the ability to fly would look so dorky. Even so this is pretty damn cool.
I stole this from Jim Fallows at The Atlantic.
On the sincerity of Glenn Beck's tears
If I were to tell you that before a person went on a television show they rehearsed their lines--with tears and heartfelt pauses included--you would assume they were an actor, right?
Not so for uber-patriot and chalkboard enthusiast Glenn Beck:
Love him or hate him, Beck is a talented, often funny broadcaster, a recovering alcoholic with an unabashedly emotional style. Yet even that has caused grousing. Some staffers say they have watched rehearsals, on internal monitors, in which Beck has teared up or paused at the same moments as he later did during the show. Asked about this, Balfe responded sharply: "Glenn reacts the same way to issues whether he knows people are watching or not, and is proud to show his emotions, unlike the cowardly, two-faced critics who hide behind anonymity."
Wow. Just...wow. If your colleagues at Fox News are calling you out as an insincere fraud that surely says a hell of a lot more than any 10 random rants by Keith Olbermann. Then again the Washington Post and Howard Kurtz are a part of the liberal media establishment and are therefore obviously members in good standing of the "I hate America" club, which means only that Glenn Beck is in good company. Fear not Tea Party nation, your savior remains infallible.
Not so for uber-patriot and chalkboard enthusiast Glenn Beck:
Love him or hate him, Beck is a talented, often funny broadcaster, a recovering alcoholic with an unabashedly emotional style. Yet even that has caused grousing. Some staffers say they have watched rehearsals, on internal monitors, in which Beck has teared up or paused at the same moments as he later did during the show. Asked about this, Balfe responded sharply: "Glenn reacts the same way to issues whether he knows people are watching or not, and is proud to show his emotions, unlike the cowardly, two-faced critics who hide behind anonymity."
Wow. Just...wow. If your colleagues at Fox News are calling you out as an insincere fraud that surely says a hell of a lot more than any 10 random rants by Keith Olbermann. Then again the Washington Post and Howard Kurtz are a part of the liberal media establishment and are therefore obviously members in good standing of the "I hate America" club, which means only that Glenn Beck is in good company. Fear not Tea Party nation, your savior remains infallible.
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Green Zone
I saw Matt Damon's latest offering the other night and I have to say, I think Jason Bourne would've stomped all over Chief Warrant Officer Roy Miller's ass.
True, but a cheap shot nonetheless. Really the problem with Green Zone is not that Damon wasn't running around throttling people enough but instead that director Paul Greengrass bit off a whole lot more than he could chew. The fruitless hunt for Saddam's stockpile of WMD's and the decision by the CPA to disband the Iraqi Army and thereby put lighter fluid to the insurgency remain to this day two of the essential story-lines in trying to understand Iraq and the nature of our involvement there. Unfortunately for the heretofore fearsome Greengrass/Damon combo they are also far too complex and fascinating to give justice to in a 2 hour Hollywood blockbuster.
If they really wanted to get at the heart of these issues they should have set this movie in Washington D.C. and not in Baghdad, since it was there that most of the fateful decisions (going to war in the first place, drastically reducing the number of troops from the original battle plan, ignoring the need for a significant post-conflict undertaking) were made which still continue to frame our involvement there even to this day.
As for the two other major ones which led us, or more acutely the Iraqi people, into the abyss--disbanding the Iraqi Army and the termination of all former Ba'ath Party members across government ministries--the simple fact is that they were made in a distinctly not-made-for-TV fashion as even President Bush explained as he was leaving office when he said, "The policy had been to keep the Iraqi Army intact; didn't happen."
When asked how he reacted to this history-making reversal he replied, "Yeah, I can't remember. I'm sure I said, 'This is the policy, what happened?' "
Not exactly the type of material that makes one immediately think "THAT SOUNDS LIKE A PERFECT MATT DAMON VEHICLE" and yet serves perfectly as another vivid reminder that history is filled too often not with malice and vindictiveness but with indifference and laziness, especially when the president in question happens to think his brain is subservient to his "gut."
As it happens there is in fact a movie that came out recently which does take on all these issues with the kind of biting wit that can only mean it was made in Britain--it's called In the Loop and it's one of the smartest/funniest movies I've seen in a long time, made even funnier by the fact that there are two Scottish men in it who swear more often and with more passion than in just about any movie ever made.
Plus the girl from My Girl is in it. Watch this clip though, it will only serve to grow the universal love of the Scottish accent.
True, but a cheap shot nonetheless. Really the problem with Green Zone is not that Damon wasn't running around throttling people enough but instead that director Paul Greengrass bit off a whole lot more than he could chew. The fruitless hunt for Saddam's stockpile of WMD's and the decision by the CPA to disband the Iraqi Army and thereby put lighter fluid to the insurgency remain to this day two of the essential story-lines in trying to understand Iraq and the nature of our involvement there. Unfortunately for the heretofore fearsome Greengrass/Damon combo they are also far too complex and fascinating to give justice to in a 2 hour Hollywood blockbuster.
If they really wanted to get at the heart of these issues they should have set this movie in Washington D.C. and not in Baghdad, since it was there that most of the fateful decisions (going to war in the first place, drastically reducing the number of troops from the original battle plan, ignoring the need for a significant post-conflict undertaking) were made which still continue to frame our involvement there even to this day.
As for the two other major ones which led us, or more acutely the Iraqi people, into the abyss--disbanding the Iraqi Army and the termination of all former Ba'ath Party members across government ministries--the simple fact is that they were made in a distinctly not-made-for-TV fashion as even President Bush explained as he was leaving office when he said, "The policy had been to keep the Iraqi Army intact; didn't happen."
When asked how he reacted to this history-making reversal he replied, "Yeah, I can't remember. I'm sure I said, 'This is the policy, what happened?' "
Not exactly the type of material that makes one immediately think "THAT SOUNDS LIKE A PERFECT MATT DAMON VEHICLE" and yet serves perfectly as another vivid reminder that history is filled too often not with malice and vindictiveness but with indifference and laziness, especially when the president in question happens to think his brain is subservient to his "gut."
As it happens there is in fact a movie that came out recently which does take on all these issues with the kind of biting wit that can only mean it was made in Britain--it's called In the Loop and it's one of the smartest/funniest movies I've seen in a long time, made even funnier by the fact that there are two Scottish men in it who swear more often and with more passion than in just about any movie ever made.
Plus the girl from My Girl is in it. Watch this clip though, it will only serve to grow the universal love of the Scottish accent.
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Making fun of Scientology is like shooting fish in a barrel but really, this is just crazy...
A pretty stunning article in the Times about Scientology. As if a religion founded by a sci-fi author needed any more trouble, now more and more former members are beginning to speak publicly about just how insane this crap really is.
Just how insane? A few highlights...
--When signing on to work as a staff member for the Church of Scientology, one signs a contract for a BILLION years. Why? Because Scientologists are immortal of course. I might go to hell for saying this but a part of me will laugh when Tom Cruise passes away (the other part will compel me to immediately re-watch Top Gun).
--Staff members are routinely pressured into having abortions (kind of defeats the purpose of "growing" the Church, no?) and are paid practically slave wages, as in 39 cents an hour over 15 years.
I guess Scientology has to exist if only to make the Mormonism seem a bit more normal.
Just how insane? A few highlights...
--When signing on to work as a staff member for the Church of Scientology, one signs a contract for a BILLION years. Why? Because Scientologists are immortal of course. I might go to hell for saying this but a part of me will laugh when Tom Cruise passes away (the other part will compel me to immediately re-watch Top Gun).
--Staff members are routinely pressured into having abortions (kind of defeats the purpose of "growing" the Church, no?) and are paid practically slave wages, as in 39 cents an hour over 15 years.
I guess Scientology has to exist if only to make the Mormonism seem a bit more normal.
Friday, March 12, 2010
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
A Muslim is a Muslim is a Muslim
At least it appears that way when you're a traveling dignitary from the most strategically vital country in the world.
A tour of the United States arranged by the State Department to improve ties to Pakistani legislators ended in a public relations fiasco when the members of the group refused to submit to extra airport screening in Washington, and they are now being hailed as heroes on their return home. ... The leader of the parliamentary group, Senator Abbas Khan Afridi, said in an interview on Tuesday that before they were to board the flight for New Orleans, he and his colleagues were selected from a crowd of passengers at the airport and asked to stand aside.
This is all Jack Bauer's fault.
A tour of the United States arranged by the State Department to improve ties to Pakistani legislators ended in a public relations fiasco when the members of the group refused to submit to extra airport screening in Washington, and they are now being hailed as heroes on their return home. ... The leader of the parliamentary group, Senator Abbas Khan Afridi, said in an interview on Tuesday that before they were to board the flight for New Orleans, he and his colleagues were selected from a crowd of passengers at the airport and asked to stand aside.
They were then asked to accept a full-body scan by a machine, he said. Such body-scanning units are in use at 19 airports across the United States, and more are being installed.
This is all Jack Bauer's fault.
Monday, March 8, 2010
How did I miss this until now?
Apparently Bill Simmons--better known as the Sports Guy--and Keith Olbermann have gotten themselves into a feud lately, one that I honestly think could be among the dumbest of all time.
How did it start? Simmons wrote a column following Tiger Woods' first post-meltdown press conference stating that "Tiger's comeback is going to be the most fascinating sports story of my lifetime...The only thing that comes close: When Ali returned from 4 years of boxing exile for refusing to serve in Vietnam."
Olbermann, as he is prone to do, threw his ass into a fit: "I am again left to marvel how somebody (Simmons) can rise to a fairly prominent media position with no discernible insight or talent, save for an apparent ability to mix up a vast bowl of word salad very quickly."
Olbermann, I think, misses the point. Simmons wasn't saying that Tiger Woods is Ali's moral equivalent, only that his return would be more fascinating. The really funny part? I'm pretty sure Ali had his run of the ladies back in the day, probably not Tiger Woods-pornstar bad but tawdry enough to the likes of millions of moms in flyover states who read Star in the checkout line, and who Tiger's sponsors are mortally frightened of since his wife had to "save" him from that late night car wreck by bashing in his window with a golf club.
The conflict has since devolved into a rather humorous bit of name-calling, but still leaves one (and by one I mean me) shaking their head thinking that both these talented guys with obviously large egos need to step back, take a deep breath, and remember one important thing: SPORTS DO NOT MATTER...AT ALL...EVER.
Aside from the Iroquois using lacrosse as a means of conflict resolution and the epic "Soccer Wars" involving world titans Honduras and El Salvador there is not one example of sports having a serious effect on anything outside the moods of the players, the fans who cheer them on, and the owners who get filthy rich off our collective derangement.
Jackie Robinson integrating Major League Baseball didn't help pass the Civil Rights Act, Jesse Owens winning gold at the Berlin Olympics in Berlin in 1936 in front of Hitler's peculiar mustache didn't prevent World War II, and Mohammed Ali's conscientious objection to serving in Vietnam sure as hell didn't do a damn thing to end the Vietnam War.
So while I am more on the cynical/Simmons side when it comes to this argument since I think "Boomers" of Olbermann's generation tend to give a lot of import to situations like Ali's (whereas I would register Pat Tillman's sacrifice as something far more praiseworthy. The truth is missing out on 4 years of boxing wasn't the worst thing in the world even though it was completely ridiculous and emblematic of just how completely screwed up our country was at the time) I still disagree with Simmons that this will go down as the "most fascinating sports story of my lifetime."
The truth is sports are only fascinating to those that take their outcomes seriously. The really fascinating things in life are those that literally affect the lives of people around the world, and which sports only glancingly touch (war/sexism/racism) upon at their most profound. I think as an obsessive regarding all things sports myself that both these gentlemen would do well to remember that.
I will now cease giving advice to men who earn more money than I do in an hour and would certainly wipe their behinds with this post if I ever thought to print it.
How did it start? Simmons wrote a column following Tiger Woods' first post-meltdown press conference stating that "Tiger's comeback is going to be the most fascinating sports story of my lifetime...The only thing that comes close: When Ali returned from 4 years of boxing exile for refusing to serve in Vietnam."
Olbermann, as he is prone to do, threw his ass into a fit: "I am again left to marvel how somebody (Simmons) can rise to a fairly prominent media position with no discernible insight or talent, save for an apparent ability to mix up a vast bowl of word salad very quickly."
Olbermann, I think, misses the point. Simmons wasn't saying that Tiger Woods is Ali's moral equivalent, only that his return would be more fascinating. The really funny part? I'm pretty sure Ali had his run of the ladies back in the day, probably not Tiger Woods-pornstar bad but tawdry enough to the likes of millions of moms in flyover states who read Star in the checkout line, and who Tiger's sponsors are mortally frightened of since his wife had to "save" him from that late night car wreck by bashing in his window with a golf club.
The conflict has since devolved into a rather humorous bit of name-calling, but still leaves one (and by one I mean me) shaking their head thinking that both these talented guys with obviously large egos need to step back, take a deep breath, and remember one important thing: SPORTS DO NOT MATTER...AT ALL...EVER.
Aside from the Iroquois using lacrosse as a means of conflict resolution and the epic "Soccer Wars" involving world titans Honduras and El Salvador there is not one example of sports having a serious effect on anything outside the moods of the players, the fans who cheer them on, and the owners who get filthy rich off our collective derangement.
Jackie Robinson integrating Major League Baseball didn't help pass the Civil Rights Act, Jesse Owens winning gold at the Berlin Olympics in Berlin in 1936 in front of Hitler's peculiar mustache didn't prevent World War II, and Mohammed Ali's conscientious objection to serving in Vietnam sure as hell didn't do a damn thing to end the Vietnam War.
So while I am more on the cynical/Simmons side when it comes to this argument since I think "Boomers" of Olbermann's generation tend to give a lot of import to situations like Ali's (whereas I would register Pat Tillman's sacrifice as something far more praiseworthy. The truth is missing out on 4 years of boxing wasn't the worst thing in the world even though it was completely ridiculous and emblematic of just how completely screwed up our country was at the time) I still disagree with Simmons that this will go down as the "most fascinating sports story of my lifetime."
The truth is sports are only fascinating to those that take their outcomes seriously. The really fascinating things in life are those that literally affect the lives of people around the world, and which sports only glancingly touch (war/sexism/racism) upon at their most profound. I think as an obsessive regarding all things sports myself that both these gentlemen would do well to remember that.
I will now cease giving advice to men who earn more money than I do in an hour and would certainly wipe their behinds with this post if I ever thought to print it.
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Holy crap do people in Wisconsin drink a lot
via Flowing Data
The red dots are for areas in where there are more bars than grocery stores. John King needs to start finessing this thing like he does the electoral map on CNN.
I wonder what homophobic football fans in Ohio will make of this
Ohio State football coach Jim Tressel--the man who gave OSU a national championship, kicks Michigan's ass with regularity, and is a virtual lock for 10 wins every year--spoke with a GLBT publication and said some pretty remarkable things, for a football coach at least, about the merits of acceptance for the gays.
Among the questions Tressel addresses in the Outlook Columbus interview: If an Ohio State football player came out as gay, what advice would Tressel provide and would the team, fans and university be supportive?
Among the questions Tressel addresses in the Outlook Columbus interview: If an Ohio State football player came out as gay, what advice would Tressel provide and would the team, fans and university be supportive?
“We strive to teach and model appreciation for everyone. One, we are a family. If you haven’t learned from your family at home that people have differences and those strengthen the whole, then you are hopefully going to learn it as part of the Ohio State football family.Pretty dang impressive I say. I await the moment next year when Ohio State loses to Michigan and Pat Robertson blames the loss on God's vengeance for these remarks.
"Two, every part of our team is important and every role has value -- no job is too small and no person is irrelevant -- that’s a great lesson that transcends into society. When I think of the diversity we’ve had on our team the past few years, it goes way beyond just a racial, sexual or ethnic mix. We've had players who had different religions, players who came from different economic backgrounds, players who are parents, who are spouses, who are caring for ailing parents, who are wheelchair bound, who are battling cancer, and on and on. Whatever a young man feels called to express, I hope we will help him do it in a supportive environment. Everybody is important, and maturity is learning to find and appreciate those differences in others."
Thursday, March 4, 2010
My 18 year old self would be amazed by my tastes right now...
Which, incidentally makes me feel very old, but is of this moment insignificant. What is significant is that Radiohead is a band so sick, so ridiculously talented and consistently surprising I'm astounded they exist at all in this age of auto-tune and Miley Cyrusness (not that I don't love to get down to "Party in the U.S.A." as much as the next totally awesome straight guy).
It is also a band that my awkward 18 year old ass would've never listened to given my severe musical A.D.D. (which still sometimes rears its ugly head, I am not a fun person to have control the radio in a car ride) and now I can literally not get enough of. I don't care that Thom Yorke probably hates me and everything I stand for, that cockeyed bastard could knee me in the balls and stab me in the eye with a fork and I'd still only mumble out a pathetic "your music means so much to me!" In fact I prefer his blatant disdain for the trappings of music glory; you can only laugh at John Mayer so much after all.
Not being a particularly ambitious individual, I've narrowed down my goals in life to a few things:
1. Teach my kids how to play baseball and mold them into Hall of Fame Red Sox players (steroids if neccessary)
2. Punch Glenn Beck in the face
3. See Radiohead in concert and flip the crap out
Below is the reason why:
It is also a band that my awkward 18 year old ass would've never listened to given my severe musical A.D.D. (which still sometimes rears its ugly head, I am not a fun person to have control the radio in a car ride) and now I can literally not get enough of. I don't care that Thom Yorke probably hates me and everything I stand for, that cockeyed bastard could knee me in the balls and stab me in the eye with a fork and I'd still only mumble out a pathetic "your music means so much to me!" In fact I prefer his blatant disdain for the trappings of music glory; you can only laugh at John Mayer so much after all.
Not being a particularly ambitious individual, I've narrowed down my goals in life to a few things:
1. Teach my kids how to play baseball and mold them into Hall of Fame Red Sox players (steroids if neccessary)
2. Punch Glenn Beck in the face
3. See Radiohead in concert and flip the crap out
Below is the reason why:
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Speaking of short lifespans for NFL players...
There's also this long and devastating piece in GQ about the growing evidence regarding football players and the staggering levels of brain damage incurred by many during their careers. The kicker (no pun intended) of course is that the NFL, like any other kind-hearted billion dollar organization, has been up until very recently been taking it upon itself to do all it can to downplay any connection between head injuries and their devastating long term effects.
Even when the connection is obvious--as it was in the case of legendary former Steeler and Hall of Famer Mike Webster--they still put the screws in ways that would make tobacco executives proud:
Even when the connection is obvious--as it was in the case of legendary former Steeler and Hall of Famer Mike Webster--they still put the screws in ways that would make tobacco executives proud:
As a personal-injury lawyer, Fitzsimmons thought what he saw in Webster was an obvious case of a man suffering a closed-head injury—the kind he’d seen plenty of times in people who had suffered through car crashes and industrial accidents. No fracture, no signs of physical damage to the skull, but sometimes severe psychiatric problems, memory loss, personality changes, aggressive behavior.
“Please help me,” Mike Webster said.
It took Fitzsimmons a year and a half to hunt down all of Webster’s medical records, scattered in doctors’ offices throughout western Pennsylvania and West Virginia. He sent Webster for four separate medical evaluations, and all four doctors confirmed Fitzsimmons’s suspicion: closed-head injury as a result of multiple concussions.
Fitzsimmons filed the disability claim with the NFL. There are several levels of disability with the NFL, and Mike Webster was awarded the lowest one: partial, about $3,000 a month.
Fitzsimmons said, “Oh, please.” He said if ever there was a guy who qualified for the highest, it was Mike Webster. The highest level was “total disability, football-related,” reserved for those who were disabled as a result of playing the game. It would yield Webster as much as $12,000 a month. Fitzsimmons said to the NFL, “Four doctors—all with the same diagnosis!”
The NFL said no. Four doctors were not enough. They wanted Webster seen by their own doctor. So their own doctor examined Webster…and concurred with the other four: closed-head injury. Football-related.
The NFL pension board voted unanimously for partial disability anyway.
Fitzsimmons said, “You have got to be kidding me.” He filed an appeal with the U.S. District Court in Baltimore, where the pension board is headquartered. The judge reversed the decision of the NFL pension board—the first time in history any such action had been taken against the NFL.
And yet still the NFL fought. They took the case to federal court. They said Mike Webster—who had endured probably 25,000 violent collisions during his career and now was living on Pringles and Little Debbie pecan rolls, who was occasionally catatonic, in a fetal position for days—they said Mike Webster didn’t qualify for full disability.*
And for all my righteous indignation, I will continue to consume football as much as the next schmo, thus rendering the league's response completely appropriate. What a country.
The average lifespan of an NFL player is 58 years old
I can't imagine why.
That's Terrence Cody, former defensive tackle at Alabama and likely 2nd or 3rd round pick in this year's draft. The really crazy part? He lost 20 pounds in the last month to get himself in such fine shape.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Dear God please tell me I'm not becoming a metro
I was listening to Pandora and this jam came on by Ulrich Schnauss. Not sure if it's the shared German heritage or the health-care gridlock...or UConn's continuing inconsistency, but for some reason I found this very soothing.
About the title
To all those who have not spent literally thousands of hours devouring Seinfeld reruns during their glory years and were instead backpacking through Europe or climbing Everest, the term "Hipster Doofus" is the title bestowed upon the legendary Seinfeld character Cosmo Kramer from a former lover as a particularly confusing insult (the short pants maybe?).
Since Kramer--despite Michael Richards' racial issues--remains the greatest comedic character of all time--and no, that's not just in my opinion--I thought it would be fitting to name my blog in his honor.
To all those who got the reference immediately, my apologies. Also, consider your life fulfilled.
Since Kramer--despite Michael Richards' racial issues--remains the greatest comedic character of all time--and no, that's not just in my opinion--I thought it would be fitting to name my blog in his honor.
To all those who got the reference immediately, my apologies. Also, consider your life fulfilled.
Monday, March 1, 2010
Example #404048 that E.J. Dionne is the man
Said column.
But I guess it doesn't matter that Barack dismantles his foes with stunning ease (and without a teleprompter--take that Palin), checks and balances are what this country's about right?
Right. Except in the case of the distinguished Senator from Kentucky, where one could literally balance Jim Bunning's brain on a pencil.
But I guess it doesn't matter that Barack dismantles his foes with stunning ease (and without a teleprompter--take that Palin), checks and balances are what this country's about right?
Right. Except in the case of the distinguished Senator from Kentucky, where one could literally balance Jim Bunning's brain on a pencil.
For all you soccer fans out there (and by that I mean homosexuals)
A helpful guide of the world's top 50 players.
P.S. There's no way Landon Donovan just happened to be the "50th best player in the world." Some Eurotrash staffer put that together without him on there and Chris Berman went AMERICA on his ass.
P.S. There's no way Landon Donovan just happened to be the "50th best player in the world." Some Eurotrash staffer put that together without him on there and Chris Berman went AMERICA on his ass.
Not sure where to go with this...
Nothing more frightening than a blank page...except for a blank blog post (my first mind you), the filing of which will result in my joining an elite band of Internet pederasts and political obsessives.
I'll leave you to guess which group I count myself a member of.
In more important news famed yoga enthusiast Sting has gotten himself into a little bit of trouble lately, I'm thinking this has to put him past Chris Brown for "World's Biggest D-Bag Musician." Then again, I'm not much of a Rhianna fan (just kidding! Domestic violence is NOT FUNNY!)
But seriously, taking straight cash from a murderous dictator when you're already loaded has to count for worse than going Wayne Brady on a lady pop star, right? Or is that just my penis talking?
It only goes downhill from here...
I'll leave you to guess which group I count myself a member of.
In more important news famed yoga enthusiast Sting has gotten himself into a little bit of trouble lately, I'm thinking this has to put him past Chris Brown for "World's Biggest D-Bag Musician." Then again, I'm not much of a Rhianna fan (just kidding! Domestic violence is NOT FUNNY!)
But seriously, taking straight cash from a murderous dictator when you're already loaded has to count for worse than going Wayne Brady on a lady pop star, right? Or is that just my penis talking?
It only goes downhill from here...
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)